I watch the waves roll gently to the shore in a consistent rhythm timed to the breath that enters and exits my chest. Your memory creeps into that space I tell myself you do not belong, but unlike the waves that return to their home, you stay with me like a disease in my bones, reminding me that my crippled heart still yearns for the drug, the temporary fix, a little of you still in the mix. Everyone knows drugs ruin lives, the threat looms to transpire. A relapse now hanging on the wire. Transport me back to when you were my fire. I yearn to feel your breath upon my skin yet the thought of returning there scares me to death. Temporary memories of bliss turn me back to my nightmare to live over and over and over again. You can't promise, and I can't risk returning to my memory.