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Submitted by G.S.Vasukumar on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 03:48
Miss You
A Poem</p>

I miss you,
Like I never missed
you before.
Tell me, is this feeling
same to you?
The joy of being with
you is always
greater,
So the moments
without you hits
me to a new low.
So come, hug and
be to me more closer,
So that winning
everything else
doesn't make me
feel like a loser.
Remember life
doesn't last
forever,
But my love for
you always would
and its true.

By:-G.S.Vasukumar

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jack the ripper's picture

Vasu

Submitted by jack the ripper on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 04:45.

this poem may be well written but honestly the topic is a little stale... BUT I COMPLETELY RESPECT YOUR EMOTION. I KNOW YOU MAY BE REALLY MISSING SOMEONE WHILE YOU WROTE THIS. I also know that when emotions run high it's difficult to write things for people who are emotionally less charged...

But my suggestion is to take a look at this piece in peace and edit it once...

"Like I never missed
you before.
Tell me, is this feeling
same to you?"

Needs to be more mature if u want "less emotionally charged" readers to appreciate it...

Please keep writing... you are a beautiful author...

Respectfully,
Amartya

Thanks....

Submitted by G.S.Vasukumar on Fri, 05/08/2009 - 11:53.

Amartya,

Thanks for ur comment on this poem. :) I will try to edit it.

Regards,

Vasu

 

 

jack the ripper's picture

Vasu

Submitted by jack the ripper on Sat, 05/09/2009 - 14:08.

Please don't change it. It's good. but then the reader will have to be a little charged to appreciate it...

Thanks...

Submitted by G.S.Vasukumar on Sat, 05/09/2009 - 19:39.

:)

gud one..

Submitted by vaishaligupta60 on Mon, 05/11/2009 - 00:34.

So that winning
everything else
doesn't make me
feel like a loser....
just luvd dis... it is so true.. gud attempt!