best buy
All I had left to spend was two cents of hope
And in you I invested not one, but both
My heart said this was the right direction to go
After resolvin the debate between my soul
And mind... exactly wat did I buy?
Moments in time that can't be refunded
Items you and I both had fun wit
X's and o's, smileys, singing songs while ridin'
Holdin hands and kissin at red traffic lights
Textin between 'good morning' and 'good nite'...
I stepped back, observed, and it all looked right
Well worth the price, maybe a bit more
The best thing my hope could buy? Of course!
KG
Style / Type:
freeform
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Please do not critique mechanics. The inconsistencies in style are intentional, or correcting them is not important to me.
Language:
English
(1 vote)
Kalvins
Welcome to the Poems & Prose family!
I loved your poem short and sweet to read. Poems of this nature are like reflection of one's heart on the paper (or computer screen) and heart seldom follows logic; therefore though well written the poem may not have an internal logic. In love, alls well that ends well and hopefully the love story recited here ended well too.
To fall in love is a beautifully anxious feeling and that was reflected in your poem.
Keep writing..
Amartya
thanks!
i appreciate your feedback! and youre right-- logic and matters of the heart dont always agree... i heard this quote that said the heart speaks its own laguage... or somethin like that... thanks again!
hi
Liked your work very much,... It sounds like a heart felt poem... and thats the beauty of it....
Keep writing... looking forward to reading more of your work..
:D
Glad you liked it! I'll be sure to keep em coming!