Dinner Divine

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LocoGLitch's picture




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Dinner Divine.

 

Today I noticed

there’s a specific rhythm

in how I speak.

A pattern emerging,

A beat,

never missed;

like a vinyl recording

refusing to skip.

 

In sync with my heart,

giving me bliss,

and pulling at ears

that cannot resist;

To listen, examine,

speeches spouted

for years.

 

And though, I know…

 

My meaning is empty.

This rhythm persists,

exalted by reveries

of friendships sweet kiss.

 

To connect ,not confuse,

those willing to listen.

To adore, not abuse,

those willing to share.

 

Words like wizened vitus fruit;

Crops collected, fermented truth.

Cork removed with hand on glass.

to savor the flavors and drink at last.

 

Fear, frets and worries smoothly suspend

as I raise my cup

to drink

cherished wine with vintage friend.

 

To sit at a table

At camaraderie’s peak

The symphonies playing

composed as we speak.

As one,

we drink, and think

and talk and tell

and feast on life

cooked medium-well.


I'm quite happy with this poem, however, I am posting it because I'm not sure if my lack of imagery (my wording is more literal) at the beginning takes away from the last 4 stanzas...would this work better as two seperate poems? Let me know..Thanks!

 

5
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First of all, good write!

Now I know I'm not being very helpful in regards to your question, but I think you could do either.  I see two poems in it, yes.  I also see one poem as well.  I really, really like how you ended it.  Good work!

 

Mocit

PS on second thought maybe you could make it a continuation.  Maybe drop "and then, I know" and make the split there and maybe... segway into the other?  mmm.... good question.

jack the ripper's picture

Loco

This was a leader's thought... You were thinking so much like I do all the time...

Open - not narrow.
Free - not poisoned.
Clear - un-hazy.
My vision
refuses to
pretend
Today.

You want friends to lead... to show the way and be shepherd... The last stanza is fine and this is one chain of thought and therefore one poem... well done..,

Just a suggestion:

An though, I know…

Looks wrong... please edit it...

Hope i got this one right...

Respectfully,
Amartya