THe Fallacy of Heart.
Sorry, I haven't been all that active. Had to do some work related travel.
Here's something I worked on while away.
Cranial activity can build worlds of levity.
A pulse of mind preserves a soul.
And can most certainly destroy
either or both.
But what of heart you pose?
My reply is justly this:
For what is a heart?
Do you speak of the muscle that beats?
Nay, your tone is a compassionate one.
Have you not yet seen what greater wisdom knows?
The mind can do infinite tricks.
Like make us think that we love,
just for kicks;
Or break our body not for damage done…
But for needs unseen, and thoughts unsung
To love, to breed, to find the real
All the brain
For heart is surreal.
Now, I interject, for fear of sounding cold.
This thing called heart is rather old.
I don’t mean to say that love is lost,
Rather…
That contemplation is not apart
from sentimental reservations.
To have heart, is truly to give reflection…
To all things.
Not once, or thrice but until
pains subside for all.
by death, by peace...
All of which starts with
ever clever psyche.
Wit’s play a role in all effects
This thing called heart is not a separate place;
where emotions move
or where effort and will lay.
Simply the mind giving itself room
to prance
and play.
I personally think it's shiat, but friends have given postive commentary....although none of them write. please help, I like the idea but my presentation doesn't jump back at me. I like when I write something and feel another response once I read it. (Work in Progress)
Loco
I, like your friends, found this poem good. It tries to identify heart by using his head. Good try… LOL … the mind also seemingly concludes that what we call heart and the thing called mind are hardly separate.
Like what bad happens
for the ill of man,
God is there to take
the blame…
What mind finds shameful
to convey
that we let our heart say…
Respectfully,
Amartya
PS: Do edit it if you get time...
An astute reply
Hey, jack
Spot on comment! You always seem to "get it". Now if I could only get more people to respond to my stuff with the constructive insight I find here. I appreciate that type of connection very much so and it's what I "try" to do with every word.
Loco
I see what you mean... I'm concerned too. I've already escalated the issue. In a community it is the responsibility of members to keep other interested and to comment on each others' work... we need to somehow motivate others... One obvious way is to comment on other people's work and thus ask them to return the favor...
Respectfully,
Amartya
hi
it is no doubt a good poem but i didnt feel the ease i felt when i read ur poem 'Imbibed Advice on Optimism'. in your terms it didnt jump at me either.
but truely its a very good concept and some editing here & there will surely do the trick.
thanks,
Prema
I like the thoughts
Loco, I think you have a great mind and a creative soul. I can't help but think when I read your work that you have not quite finished revising or sometime congealing your message. It's not like like one misses what your tryin to convey, but I cant help but think that it's not finished. Please dont take offense by my saying that. I think you are a great poet with not very much time to suffer the details.
Respecfully,
mocit
Mocit...We bleed on the page
I think your picking up on my personality. I never feel anything I write is finished. For I fear, if i wrote every word I though belonged on the page, I'd never stop. I find myself drifting off in pretty words and imagery all day long, poetry is my escape from a somewhat disappointing existance. I'm very good at starting something, not so much when it comes to the finish; Procrastination is my forte. Not do to laziness or complacency but because I'm and overthinker....and more so, an endless talker. I'm rather self concious about that, I get lost in my "important thoughts", my "important feelings" and I lose my audience, only to notice when I get that "Will you ever stop?" look. I talk and talk, and take the stage only to relieze.. All the other players are standing watching me as well....that's when the boo's begin.
I appreciate your advice, as I feel it is a noticable flaw. I'm just very unsure of what to do about it.
No, not a flaw, i think
Sometimes we need to distract our practical side long enough to hear or see what taps us into the soul that cant be explained to a rational mind. I like work very much. Every poem I write, I rewrite better every time. I feel it's because my creative side canot be practical and the prctical not creative. I wait until the creative passes into prctical and come back and complete what's not as clear as I wanted it. I hope that doesnt confuse you as much as it does me.
One Rule to the poet: Never put you pen down, for your creation is priceless,
Mocit