Wonderfully written. I don't know if  you realize, but you created an internal rhyme which was clever[ not an end  rhyme}

silver LINING

SHINING star

I like the repetiton  and the rhetorical question at the end which leaves the reader to wonder.

Make ALL THIS VIOLENCE IS GOING TO CEASE mess PROSE and more PPOETIC by simply stating:

ALL THIS VIOLENCE TO CEASE

Eliminate AND: that destroys the formo of 4 lnes to each stanza.

Now try a short popem minimizing the rhyme and going for imagery thru mertaphor and IMAGINATION,,,,,

:)

Respectfully

joe

I think this a BEAUTIFUL write. Most things a poem need are there in it. I could see the rhyme, rhythm, structure and most importantly sense.

You've progressed LEAPS and bounds since the first write and one needs to congratulate your for it.

Whats even more impressive is that most wannabe poets of your generation are overwhelmed by love and heart breaks and that's all they write on. Though there is nothing wrong in that it just makes the job of reading monotonous. Your poem was apart and therefore better.

Please keep writing.

Respectfully,
Amartya

thanks Joe. i'll work on the things you said & will try to deliver something better next time.  

thanks,

Prema

hi,                                              amartya,

ya you are right. i can feel some improvements in my poems myself. well, the credit  goes to you & Joe. thank you very much.

thanks,

Prema

I dont know about the techniques of writing poems but the overall feel of the poem was very nice.......Keep Writing