In the world outside,it's the dusk time
as the view through my window on left
brings to me
the news of the death of this day;
as I'm, laying on a bed,
surrounded with medicine-mud
writing my diary,perhaps for the last.

Perhaps for the last time,
my pen is running smooth
on a page, marked on the top corner
as Friday, July 10th,2009.

And perhaps for the last time
my thoughts are processed clear
as my 'me' inside is longing strong
to relish the time piecewise,
to savor a catharsis-journey
through the life left;
because my mind knows
that it's only 17 hours more
and my brain will stop
and I will exist no more.

My lung is infected with cancer-germs
beyond recovery,
and thus: since the last two months
little by little, I have come
close to death to see my life off.
(for sure I know there is nothing beyond death ,
my system will cease to work and
that's the stop,forever).

So within few hours
I am gonna quit
the most thrilling game
called life.

I will die insignificant,
I will die inconsequential to the mankind,I know.

Yet I am happy.
I am happy because
I have journeyed into life
through 24 years long,
I am happy because
I have experienced life a bit more
than those who are born dead.
(I am never proud here,I am really sorry for them
but I mean, I have no complain
since there are those with no taste of life).

I have seen light and was entranced
at the beauty around in numberless forms,
I have heard the sound and was amazed
at the voice of nature,so expressive-
and I have felt the heat on my heart and skin
and was enthralled with it.

Can I still complain to life?

(please don't think I am talking of complaining
to something imaginary, like God).

'No' is my answer, I know.
I firmly feel that I will die happy
but just before my senses cease to act,
I wanna run through a catharsis-
I wanna run through my life (as I've already told)
beginning from the birth.
and wanna experience all the events and incidents-
all in a virtual world inside my neuron cells.

But alas! time getting finished very fast,
my grey cells are recreating
only few events:scattered and random
and like a fast-forward movie
on my laptop screen
the scenes seem overlapping .

ufff ! my pen is running slow
my finger-fibers are relaxing,
I'm feeling sleepy, my nerve cells demanding rest.

Somebody please take
my memory cells out of my head
and transfer them to my 'magic-mode-PC'
to create an e-book available to all
to tell them about my experiments with the world
and to show them the analyzed data with inferences
about an optimized approach to life
about few theories on the world I see.

(Oh! now you see I'm bit restless,
showing an unsated 'me' within
but truly ,my mind just craves this
to die happy within deadline!)

Although I am almost drowsy,
I can still see some faces
chuckling at this point,
probably saying that:
only those who know me a bit more
may scan few pages of my experimental e-book
and the rest
will not even take a look at it
even to call it a trash !

Ahh!...I am falling asleep very fast
my mind is in the transition state,
and my grey cells recreating
with haze in my virtual world
my mom's affection,my dad's concern
and one man's voice ;
who on the first day of my high school
asked me what is life
and gave the answer himself.

Then in the alleys appear few friends
without whom the life is a hay.
and I see my sorrows and pains
and the attention they pay.

ohh!! many many many
too many memories gathering fleet;
but perhaps for the last
before I'm gone well into sleep
I zest my dearest's delicious lips.