See...
This is just a short response to something @aureliom posted in reply to one of my previous poems. It's not at all my style. Just testing out my nursery rhyme skills : ).
Hearing these sounds
Vibrations compound
Yet no inspiration do they impart
Lux est verto
A true sensory concerto
Still, no clue where to start
Thoughts disheveled
Splintered, not beveled
My problem is that of dear Sarte
Human condition
Divine imposition
Each is condemned to be free
We are bedeviled
Humbled and levelled
Mandated individuality
Some cause attrition
Strive for division
Absurd is this vulgarity
I must write these wrongs
Through verse or through song
Have no fear I wield only this pen
My duty, I've married
Long it's been carried
From defeat I will rise again
We'll all get along
Feel we belong
I dare not rest before then
So what do I see?
I only see me
Misery tears me apart
:)
Its a good experiment... but like the poet said, its not his style..
You stuck it out
THe couplets worked...it's just as when I stick to the 14 lines for a sonnet...Just sticking it out gives me some discipline.
I like the way you keep going through adversity in the thoughts of the poem and it seems to parallel the stress you are going through to find the rhymes and still make sense.
You are doing well...but again, that's just the opinion of one old fart.