The Lost Fragrance                                                

I met her today. She was an ordinary woman, not a celebrity not some politician or some fighter, she was just like you and me. Rather, I would say she looked like you and me, but she is not.

No, no, this is no sci-fi, action thriller novel preview. This story is true and maybe more scarier than any other horror movie you and I might have ever seen. My mother always used to say: Truth hurts and sometimes is unbelievable. Now what you are going to read is close to that saying.

Before I tell you anything more, let me tell you who this story is about. She is Mehak, Mehak Bharma. She is 23 years of age and is an event manager.

She is not just a case study here to help you understand the seriousness of what I am about to write, but is also a dear and close friend of mine.

Without any further delay, I will give you excerpts from the conversations I have had with her lately.

Vinita: Hi Mehak, How are you? How is your job on?

Mehak: I am fine yaar, job is a little stressful right now, you know, because of recession and all.

Vinita: Yes, yes, I know, I myself am facing the consequences of it, having a tough time finding a job which I like and finding an employee who likes me!

Mehak: what is your weight, vini?

Vinita: ummm…. It’s around 50-53 kgs, why are you asking?

Mehak: wow! You are so lucky; I am unable to lose weight yaar.

Vinita: But you are looking wonderful, I was just about to tell you to gain some weight, you have become quite pale and thin.

Mehak: no way, are you crazy or what? You must be blind! Thin and me, I wish!

I didn’t think much of it that day but I noticed some changes in mehak’s overall behavior, I choose to talk about this to my family doctor.

I told him about how Mehak was my dear friend and from the last time I met her, around a month back, she has become more pale and thin. While we were hanging out at the coffee shop, I noticed she was barely drinking anything and every time I asked her about food, she was like are you crazy.

He told me to notice for some symptoms in her like did she visit the rest room every time she ate or drank anything , did she have dark circles under her eyes which were darker than normal , did her clothes fit her too loose which fit her normally before and so on…

I didn’t worry too much as I thought she was into dieting or something, but still deep down I felt something was wrong.

I met her again, the next week.

Mehak: (coughing terribly) Excuse me yaar, vini, I will use the restroom and come.

Vinita: I will also come with you, need to wash my face.

 (Behind close doors- I could hear puking noises)

Vinita: what’s wrong? Are you okay?

Mehak: yea, I am okay, just something caught in my throat.

(The answer didn’t satisfy me, and though I knew what she was going to answer, I confronted her)

Vinita: Mehak, I know you from 8 years and you are lying to me. Why are you lying, what’s wrong, why did you puke, why aren’t you eating anything, why don’t you drink anything, why do you look so tired, why are your clothes so loose?! Please tell me, Mehak, I can help you, I won’t tell a soul.

Mehak: Are you crazy? I am okay. And my clothes are not loose, they are fine, you have gone insane, I want to go home.

So she left, I decided to tell her mom about her this and told her to keep a watch on her. Her mom too was worried sick and was sure about some change in mehak’s behavior. She noticed the same changes I noticed in her, we decided to take her to a doctor.

Forcibly, we took her to a doctor, he took several tests of her body, and the results were as follows:

• The white blood cells were more than the red blood cells. The red blood cells which protect our body from diseases were almost next to nothing!
•  She had a stomach infection, the reason why she was coughing always and had a stomach ache from 2 weeks, which she confessed to having later.
• Mehak is 5.4 inches, and as per height, she was almost 20 kgs under weight!
• Reports from the gynecologist mentioned that her period cycle was uneven and hadn’t come in 2 months as she was not eating anything much.

After a long and emotional discussion between me, Mehak, her parents and her doctor, these symptoms had a name: ANOREXIA.

The disease which we had studied in science books, which we used to recite orally in practical exams- I couldn’t believe it.

This was the most difficult conversation I had with Mehak:

Mehak: I don’t have anorexia. So what if I eat a little less or I puke because my stomach’s aching. The doctor said right, that I have stomach infection, that’s why am not eating.

Me and mehak’s parents: Then why didn’t you tell us before of this pain? Why didn’t you tell us you were missing your dates from 2 months?

Mehak: I didn’t worry too much about it and I didn’t want you to worry either.

************** Mehak started crying*******************

Between unstoppable sobs:

Mehak: Fine, I was not eating. The place where I am working, everybody is so skinny, I felt extremely unhealthy. (Telling her parents) you don’t allow me to diet. I don’t have time to go to the gym. So what do I do? I wanted to lose weight, this was the best way.

Vinita: What way was the best way?

Mehak: This! Eating and removing out whatever I ate. Caffeine has calories; I had read it on the net, so I didn’t drink caffeine. Whenever I drank, I felt fat, so I puked it out. Earlier it was tough, I couldn’t sleep at nights as I was hungry but then slowly, I started getting used to it. I actually felt better.

     My jeans were getting looser, I looked thinner, and it motivated me to do this more…

Doctor: Mehak, this is not dieting, this is an abnormal behavior. You are an educated woman and you know what you are doing is not normal. You have anorexia, you look anorexic and you must be feeling that too. The sooner you tell us, the sooner we can treat you. This is not healthy, you might lose weight now, but one day, you will be so sick that you will be admitted to the hospital. Food and energy would be given to you by IV, you would gain more weight than you lost, and then what will you do, Mehak?

Mehak: (crying and angry) Shut up! I will never become fat, no way, will I ever become the old fatso again, I am happy with myself now, why can’t you let me be happy?

                           One Month Later:

Mehak was admitted to the hospital. Slowly, but steadily she was recuperating. She hadn’t gained any weight but she hadn’t lose more either. She looked better, as she was under surveillance 24/7. She couldn’t go to the bathroom and puke anymore.

The obsession with weight loss had led her to mental imbalance; she was not ready to accept this as a disease, hence, psychological treatment was also being given to her.

Luckily, for her, her parents were very strong emotionally and physically, this didn’t break them down and actually motivated them to look after their daughter better.

They accepted her with her problems, and knew, it is a long way to recovery but someday, she will be fine again and like her name ‘the fragrance of Mehak will spread again…’

                                      What I Feel:

What happened with Mehak really shattered me and more than that, it shook me to my very core. I know her from more than 10 years, the tom boyish; never care attitude girl had become this body obsessed person. When did this happen? Why didn’t I see it happening? Why didn’t I stop her?

I keep asking these questions to myself but I know, it wasn’t my fault or anyone’s fault, as like I said before, she looked normal, she had lunch and dinner with us. How would we know she was puking it all out?

As of now, I just pray for her recovery and I pray for strength not just for me but to mehak’s parents and lakhs of other families who’s daughters, sisters, sons, nieces might be suffering from this , I wont call it a disease, this disorder.